There continues to be many reports in the media that mental health is now one of the most pressing medical concerns for our society and the mental health of young children and adolescence is becoming more and more prevalent. It was only today as I was listening to the morning news whilst driving to school the opening news item focused on mental health. According to the Child and Adolescent Component of the National Survey of Mental Health, over 15% of young people aged 4-17 were reported to have a mental health problem. Depression is one of the most common health problems in children. Supporting our children’s mental health is often not something to which parents give a lot of consideration nor plan for. However, when we make our children feel connected to and welcome in our family, we are supporting their positive adjustment, their self-identification, their sense of trust in others and themselves, all of which are important in promoting mental health.

When we support our children to achieve reasonable levels of academic success and help them to develop their talents and interests, we are helping them to feel competent and more able to deal with any stress they may have. Helping them to be socially competent, having friends and staying connected to them, can enhance mental wellness. When we encourage good physical health, we support good mental health. Healthy eating habits, regular exercise and participation in sporting activities with peers, together with adequate sleep, protect our children against anxiety, anger, stress and depression.

Most parents have a high expectation of how their family should be and how each member should develop. Most parents would realise that there are no perfect children and no perfect parents. All children misbehave sometime and all parents make mistakes. Our children need to be accepted for who they are, loved and encouraged to grow up at their own pace so they will develop good self-esteem and confidence.

Family relationships are built up over time with loving care and concern for each member. Doing things together, being appreciative of one another, complimenting each other, finding solutions to problems together, all help to develop positive attitudes, and a positive and hopeful outlook on life, will help to ensure good mental health.

WOLLONGONG DIOCESE ATHLETICS SELECTION TRIALS - Congratulations are extended to Aleksandra V (Discus) and Chaise A (Shot Put and Discus) who have been selected to represent Wollongong Diocese at the MacKillop Trials, which will be held later this term. A great effort.

PEER SUPPORT - This week in Peer Support children will have an opportunity to discuss their personal qualities and strengths. The children will identify their qualities and acknowledge how they contribute to their achievements. Through activities children recognise they use their strengths to achieve success and can be encouraged to approach future activities optimistically. Ask your child to describe their own qualities and strengths so you can recognise and acknowledge these.

Have a great week and let Christ be our way and life.

Don Spencer

Principal

PROFESSIONAL LEARNING

At Mary Immaculate the staff has an ongoing commitment to professional learning. The staff benefit from attending inservices, in curriculum areas, that assists them in providing quality learning opportunities for the students in their class. The following staff have or will attend professional learning and hence will be away from school.

Creating a Consistent Parenting Storyline

By Michael Grose, Author of  “ Parenting Ideas”

“My partner needs to hear this!”

It’s a healthy recognition that parent consistency is a significant element in successful parenting, particularly when facing a child’s behavioural or wellbeing challenge. It’s also recognition that one of the biggest challenges for many couples is creating the same parenting storyline. It’s a common challenge. You may be strict, while your partner is lenient. You may value family mealtime highly, while your partner is ambivalent about breaking bread as a family.

Differences in parenting are natural, reflecting past parenting experiences, gender differences and personal experiences of children. They are a sign of independent thinking, and can provide a sense of balance to family life. Parents who work together need to know when to compromise, when to keep out of the way and when to present a united front. Knowing when to take each approach takes practice and depends on the issues at hand, your parenting styles and your individual values.

Differences can be stressful - Different approaches can cause discomfort, stress and anxiety to one or both parents, particularly when communication and empathy levels are down. In some cases, the differences can lead to inconsistent parenting where there is no agreement on rules and standards of behaviour and inconsistent follow-through when kids behave poorly. It’s like driving a car when there are two sets of road rules. There’d be accidents in the first five minutes. Similarly, there is chaos in a family when there’s more than one set of rules. The rules and boundaries that govern children’s behaviour and family life need to be agreed upon. Parents who work together need to know when to compromise, when to keep out of the way and when to present a united front. Knowing when to take each approach takes practice and depends on the issues at hand, your parenting styles and your individual values.

Creating the same storyline - Agreeing to the same parenting storyline as your partner takes work. It can be done whether you and your partner live together or not. Here are some ideas to help.

Keep your partner informed - It helps if the primary parent can keep partners informed about what’s going on in children’s lives. These can include updates about behaviour, educational achievements and their general well-being.

Defer to your partner - Kids have a habit of putting their parents on the spot, particularly with issues such as going out or buying the latest fad. Rather than responding to children’s requests yourself, get into the habit of deferring to your partner. Not only does this keep your partner in the communication loop, it helps you work as a united front.

Share insights with your partner into your own childhood and family - These types of reflective conversations can lead to a deeper level of understanding and often reveal why you both feel strongly about different parenting matters.

Divide areas of responsibility - Don’t keep all the responsibilities to yourself. Bring your partner into the loop, and give them a share of the parenting jobs.

Communicate concerns to your partner about differences
Avoid disagreeing openly in front of the children. Find a time later to air any concerns you may have and generate alternate strategies or ideas for your partner to try.

Work out your family brand - In my book ‘Thriving’ I showed parents how to establish a strong family brand. That is, work out the type of family atmosphere you’d like to establish; the values and attitudes that are important to you; your preferred parenting style and identify the family traditions and rituals you’d like to nurture. From my experience, parents can get away with parental differences when kids are young, however it can become a big problem in adolescence. Some teenagers are become adept at driving a wedge between parents who are on different wavelengths. They generally go to the parent who will give them the answer they require when it comes to the tricky areas such as going out, access to alcohol and relationship issues. That’s why one of the greatest gifts you can give your children is the consistency they experience when both parents work together using the same parenting storyline.

Michael Grose – (Author Parenting Ideas)