We live in a time when we have the most wonderful technologies available to us. We have the internet with its amazing breadth of interesting sites; we have smart phones, Ipads, interactive games, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to name a few. But with all this comes a problem: how to handle all this in a non-addictive way, how not to allow these technologies to control our lives. Perhaps all this fits under the heading 'Excess' about which Ron Rolheiser, columnist and author, has this to say: Excess is a substitute for genuine enjoyment. We go to excess in things because we can no longer enjoy them simply. It’s when we no longer enjoy a drink that we drink to excess; it’s when we no longer enjoy a simple party that we let things get out of hand; it’s when we no longer enjoy the taste of chocolate that we over-indulge. Excess isn’t just a substitute for enjoyment, it’s the very thing that drains all enjoyment from our lives; every recovering addict will tell us that.”

So, how do we prevent our children from slipping into the world of excessive behaviours? For the most part, children don't know what 'excess' is, unless adults introduce them to it. If a child is excessively involved with computer games and the like, maybe it’s because of loneliness: no one has the time or interest to provide options such as belonging to a sports team, music group, hobby club, being involved in home cooking, gardening, board games, maybe visiting the local Library or local park.

Children can learn about 'excess' by observing the behaviours of adults who might have succumbed to the pressures of life and so consume more, buy more, drink more, spend more than they should and genuinely substitute excess for enjoyment. Life, to be enjoyable, needs to be fairly simple. Perhaps the mantra of Author Mary Jo Leddy has wisdom to offer us:

“It’s enough.

I have enough.

I am enough.

Life is enough.

I need to gratefully enjoy what I have.”

CATHOLIC CLUB COMMUNION MASS - Last Sunday Mrs Del Giuidice, along with two of our School Leaders, Lee and Diva, represented Mary Immaculate at the Annual Campbelltown Catholic Club Communion Mass. I thank Mrs Del Giudice, Lee S, Diva S and their families for giving of their time to attend this celebration on behalf of our School Community. Throughout the last financial year the Campbelltown Catholic Club has again made significant donations to Catholic Schools. Our School, along with all Catholic Schools in the Macarthur, has been a great beneficiary of the Catholic Club for many years. Please do your best to support the Catholic Club when able.

BEST OF LUCK - I would like to wish our school representatives who are participating in the North Western Region Soccer Gala Day on Friday all the best. I am sure the children will do themselves and our school proud.

RELIEVING PRINCIPAL - Next Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I will be accompanying our Year 6 students and teachers on their excursion to Canberra and the snowfields. Mrs Del Giudice will also be attending professional learning on Tuesday. Due to both myself and Mrs Del Giudice being off site on Tuesday, the Catholic Education Office has asked Mr John Walsh, an experienced Principal, to step in as Acting Principal for the day. I am sure our community will make Mr Walsh feel welcomed.

PROFESSIONAL LEARNING - At Mary Immaculate the staff has an ongoing commitment to professional learning. The staff benefit from attending inservices, in curriculum areas, that assists them in providing quality learning opportunities for the students in their class. The following staff have or will attend professional learning and hence will be away from school.

CREATING A CONSISTENT PARENTING STORYLINE  
by Michael Gross Author of Parenting Ideas

“My partner needs to hear this!

This is typical of many comments I’ve been hearing lately from participants at my Anxious Kids workshops and seminars. It’s a healthy recognition that parent consistency is a significant element in successful parenting, particularly when facing a child’s behavioural or wellbeing challenge.

It’s also recognition that one of the biggest challenges for many couples is creating the same parenting storyline. It’s a common challenge.

You may be strict, while your partner is lenient. You may value family mealtime highly, while your partner is ambivalent about breaking bread as a family.

Differences in parenting are natural, reflecting past parenting experiences, gender differences and personal experiences of children. They are a sign of independent thinking, and can provide a sense of balance to family life.

Parents who work together need to know when to compromise, when to keep out of the way and when to present a united front. Knowing when to take each approach takes practice and depends on the issues at hand, your parenting styles and your individual values.

Different approaches can cause discomfort, stress and anxiety to one or both parents, particularly when communication and empathy levels are down.

In some cases, the differences can lead to inconsistent parenting where there is no agreement on rules and standards of behaviour and inconsistent follow-through when kids behave poorly. It’s like driving a car when there are two sets of road rules. There’d be accidents in the first five minutes.

Similarly, there is chaos in a family when there’s more than one set of rules. The rules and boundaries that govern children’s behaviour and family life need to be agreed upon.

Parents who work together need to know when to compromise, when to keep out of the way and when to present a united front. Knowing when to take each approach takes practice and depends on the issues at hand, your parenting styles and your individual values.

CREATING THE SAME STORYLINE
Agreeing to the same parenting storyline as your partner takes work. It can be done whether you and your partner live together or not. Here are some ideas to help.

Keep your partner informed
It helps if the primary parent can keep partners informed about what’s going on in children’s lives. These can include updates about behaviour, educational achievements and their general well-being.

Defer to your partner
Kids have a habit of putting their parents on the spot, particularly with issues such as going out or buying the latest fad. Rather than responding to children’s requests yourself, get into the habit of deferring to your partner. Not only does this keep your partner in the communication loop, it helps you work as a united front.

Share insights with your partner into your own childhood and family
These types of reflective conversations can lead to a deeper level of understanding and often reveal why you both feel strongly about different parenting matters.

Divide areas of responsibility
Don’t keep all the responsibilities to yourself. Bring your partner into the loop, and give them a share of the parenting jobs.

Communicate concerns to your partner about differences
Avoid disagreeing openly in front of the children. Find a time later to air any concerns you may have and generate alternate strategies or ideas for your partner to try.

Work out your family brand
In my book Thriving, I showed parents how to establish a strong family brand. That is, work out the type of family atmosphere you’d like to establish; the values and attitudes that are important to you; your preferred parenting style and identify the family traditions and rituals you’d like to nurture. From my experience, parents can get away with parental differences when kids are young, however it can become a big problem in adolescence. Some teenagers are become adept at driving a wedge between parents who are on different wavelengths. They generally go to the parent who will give them the answer they require when it comes to the tricky areas such as going out, access to alcohol and relationship issues. That’s why one of the greatest gifts you can give your children is the consistency they experience when both parents work together using the same parenting storyline".

Have a great week and let Christ be our way and life.

Don Spencer